I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
