So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
