Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize