umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
