I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
