oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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