I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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