I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
