she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
