and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
