I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm always down for nudity.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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