Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
vagina is talking i cant
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
