i'm signing you up for texting rehab
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
