I can tuck mytits in my pants
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
