Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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