I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
