This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
