It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize