I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Fuck me I smell like cheese
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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