ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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