We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
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Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
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There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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