And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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