Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
