I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize