We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
