this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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