I am spending my child support on dildos
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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