how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
