i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
