So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
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I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
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I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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