Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
