I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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