carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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