I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
did i just pee glitter
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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