dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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