I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
