wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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