Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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