I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
look no pants
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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