i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
