If i come over, it means nothing
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
