have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
