She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
