we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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