We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
my liver is dry heaving
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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