Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order