OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.