im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.