thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
