can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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