Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you inspire me to be a worse person
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
