he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
