Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
