Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
