so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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