make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Hippo gnu deer
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
