I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
