Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
