I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
