No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
