READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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