Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Can you bring me the toilet please
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
