My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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