Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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