Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
