I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
