hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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