I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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