great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm getting married
To pizza
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
