I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
