you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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